so... fibroids

what I didn’t expect to learn about my body

a gentle note: this post touches on pregnancy loss, bleeding, and some women’s health experiences. please read with care.

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So… fibroids.

Because apparently we’re adding that to the list. My least favourite f word.

After everything that happened with my pregnancy, I’ve been going through all the follow-ups, tests, and appointments to try and understand what was actually going on in my body. And somewhere along the way, fibroids entered the chat.

I had heard of them before, but never really thought much about them. Definitely never thought they would be something I’d have to deal with personally.

And here we are…

If you didn’t know, fibroids are noncancerous growths in the uterus. They’re much more common than I ever realized, especially among Black women. Some women have them and never even know. Others… not so much. Like me.

In my case, one of them is sitting in my uterine cavity, which can affect bleeding and, potentially, pregnancy outcomes. It’s a submucosal fibroid, and unfortunately, it likely contributed to the placental abruption I experienced at 13w5d, along with the subchorionic hematoma I experienced earlier in the pregnancy.

wtf is a subchorionic hematoma?

So now I’m not just thinking about what happened, I’m thinking about what this means moving forward.

And I’m really thankful that we have an OBGYN who is as invested and compassionate as she is. She’s made it her mission to make sure this doesn’t happen ever again.

After the SIS procedure, we were able to confirm the fibroid’s location. From there, I had to get an MRI to get a more precise view so we could figure out the best way to remove it.

I’ve definitely found myself going down the rabbit hole again, trying to understand what fibroids are, how they form, and what my options are. But I’m also trying not to overwhelm myself with too much information at once.

Because if there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s that you can’t Google your way into peace, lol.

So, what’s the solution to all this? The plan is surgery. Your girl is getting a robotic myomectomy this week to remove the fibroid, and we’re so grateful to have a surgeon and team who specialize in this.

Even typing that out feels a little surreal.

There’s a part of me that feels grateful to have answers. Like, okay… this explains some things. It gives us a clearer path forward, and this procedure should help prevent this from happening again. Thank God, because it was awful. But there’s also a part of me that feels nervous. I’m human, after all.

About the procedure. About recovery. About what comes after. And, if I’m being honest… about my own fertility. I’ve had moments where I’ve thought, why is my body going through all of this?

Like… who did I piss off?

But I’m also trying to meet this moment with a different mindset. Not one rooted in fear, but in understanding, hope, and strength. I want to do everything I can to have a full-term, healthy baby and a healthy maman… me.

Taking care of my body in the way it needs right now. Asking questions, getting support, and trusting that I’m moving in the right direction, even if it doesn’t feel easy. Even if more pain is on the horizon, lol.

This is just where I am. Learning more about my body than I ever expected to. Making decisions I didn’t think I’d have to make. And trying to move forward, one step at a time.

I’ll also say this… if you’re navigating something in your own body and it doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling. It’s so easy to fall down the social media rabbit hole (I’ve been there), but nothing replaces being seen and cared for by someone who can actually help you. Your symptoms are real. You deserve support. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself.

Shout out to my husband. He’s the best, and I love him so much. He’s been so supportive through all of this. We’ve had to face some really scary moments together, and when I feel like shit, he’s there to carry me. Truly, a real one.

And I’ll admit… I did a little trigger-happy shopping and finally bought the Alo sweatpants I’ve been eyeing. You know, post-surgery comfort.

It’s the little things that carry you through.

x, holy